That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Randomize
