Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
