Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
