speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
