if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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