Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
