you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
