I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
