So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
