He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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