ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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