What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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