At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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