fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
