I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he was CRYING into my vagina
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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