I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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