Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
