Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
