I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Randomize
