i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
