you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
