really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
