Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
