why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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