I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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