Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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