Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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