On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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