i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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