I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
