Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
