Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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