Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Watching her eat just hurts me
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
