Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
pray to the hookup gods
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