you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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