Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
