can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
