is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
