Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
