I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
