it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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