in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
