I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
