i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
