I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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