I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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