i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
