I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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