I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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