Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
